I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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