Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
