You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's blow job season.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
