I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
