Your tits are I can't wait for
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize