checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Drake has all the answers
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
