and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
