go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize