so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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