Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
