how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
