I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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