When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I love having hate sex.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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