u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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