You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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