Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
