1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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