You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
