I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
