Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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