I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
