Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
