Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
