New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
