I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
