found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize