it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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