I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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