I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize