just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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