scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
