my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
