Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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