We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
