turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
