just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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