I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
