He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
