she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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