You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
