NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
