You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
