Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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