you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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