Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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