Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
