i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
