I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
