im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
