I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
