last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
