If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
