So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
