matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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