And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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