I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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