He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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