You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize