? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
