thus making me awesome and them whores
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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